Independence Day Report From The High "C"s
Those of my friends who remembered to wind their calandars will have known that it was a special day yesterday. It was when we celebrate the defeat of our oppressive overlords by Will Smith and Jeff Goldblum in 1996.
I was asked at the nearly last minute to aid our needy friends The Ships Company singing on the Woodwinds I & II in Annapolis. I've done several of gigues on these handsome boats in past years. I joined our SC pal Myron about the Woodwind I, ably piloted by Captain Jennifer Kaye. We motored out towards gray skies and pretended to be sailorly while the passengers actually raised the sails. Because there was some hefty weather approaching from the southeast, we didn't sail on the bay, but rather turned up the picturesque Severn river to the Northwest of Annapolis.
I soon noticed that one passenger (hither to noted as "Extroverted Woman"*) decided that she should demonstrate the she was an old salt by dropping nautical terms as she called out chummy slightly snipey conversations with our captain. She seemed to be a friend or business associate of the captain. She would fire helpful questions like, "Are you going to be setting the fish sail...or maybe you've set the jib a bit close?" She also gave Myron and I song requests like Danny Boy. She was not happy with my statements that it wasn't the kind of stuff we were there to do. I finally sang Danny Boy, but made sure to pitch it too high so that I would SCREECH the high note on "...Tis I'll be HEEEEEEERE in sunshine or in shadow" to her annoyance, but the general amusement of the rest of the group.
Later she suggested us that we really should be singing songs for the many children on board. Of course, we are not children's party performers, unlike ThatthererevoltingshellofamanandregisteredsaxoffenderDiego with his balloon animals and such. So I replied with "Captain Barnacle" and "Trickle, Trickle Little Scar". As expected, the adults were amused, and the children were appropriately puzzled...and extroverted woman* was perhaps dissatisfied that we hadn't met her suggestion with praise for her brilliance as an impromptu stage director.
In spite of her assistance, we had a pleasant sail until the weather gods noticed our escape. We had gotten some light rain while heading upriver, but not too bad. The crew distributed amusingly titled "Emergency Parkas" to us all. These were Chinese-made plastic bags with arm holes, hoods, and 3 ounces of lead and melamine in each one for body. They also were precisely the thickness of those dry cleaner bags that you are warned will pose a suffocation risk to children.
We came about to head back down river. The weather was getting ugly.
The mists of the deep first concealed, then disclosed a glowering squall line between us and the Severn River Bridge. Soon we were all drenched to the bone. It seems that "Parka" is a Chinese words that means "completely porous membrane". My guitar and the small children had been sent below for their comfort.
We approached our anchorage after passing through three strong squalls. WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! I had not been so soaked while singing since the PRs performed on the schooner Clipper City last year.
This year I decided to do something that I have only threatened in past performances...sing the Star Spangled Banner just before the fireworks.
I have from time to time noted that songs can take on an iconic aspect. When this happens the thing that they are becomes less important than the thing they represent. Such is obviously the case with our national anthem. Many of us have sung it so many times that we no longer think of it as a song and poem in it's own right. It is a famously difficult song to sing, but I really like the poem. It is easy to forget that the poem was written under trying circumstances. Attorney F.S. Key had gone to Baltimore to plead for the release of his friend, a Doctor Bean, from the invading British forces. He had secured the release, but because they were privy to some details of the coming battle, they were quarantined aboard one of the British ships. This twist of fate gave them a panoramic view of the proceedings. It's a shame that most Americans can't remember the words to our national Anthem's first; but also that most of us have no idea that we generally sing only the first of a four stanza piece.
I invite you to read the whole thing:

The Star Spangled Banner or The Defence of Fort McHenry

O! say can you see by the dawn's early light
What so proudly we hailed at the twilight's last gleaming.
Whose broad stripes and bright stars through the perilous fight,
O'er the ramparts we watched were so gallantly streaming.
And the rockets' red glare, the bombs bursting in air,
Gave proof through the night that our flag was still there.
Oh, say does that star-spangled banner yet wave
O'er the land of the free and the home of the brave?

On the shore, dimly seen through the mists of the deep,
Where the foe's haughty host in dread silence reposes,
What is that which the breeze, o'er the towering steep,
As it fitfully blows, half conceals, half discloses?
Now it catches the gleam of the morning's first beam,
In full glory reflected now shines in the stream:
'Tis the star-spangled banner! Oh long may it wave
O'er the land of the free and the home of the brave

And where is that band who so vauntingly swore
That the havoc of war and the battle's confusion,
A home and a country should leave us no more!
Their blood has washed out their foul footsteps' pollution.
No refuge could save the hireling and slave
From the terror of flight, or the gloom of the grave:
And the star-spangled banner in triumph doth wave
O'er the land of the free and the home of the brave!

O! thus be it ever, when freemen shall stand
Between their loved home and the war's desolation!
Blest with victory and peace, may the heav'n rescued land
Praise the Power that hath made and preserved us a nation.
Then conquer we must, when our cause it is just,
And this be our motto: 'In God is our trust.'
And the star-spangled banner in triumph shall wave
O'er the land of the free and the home of the brave!

In the interest of time, I made an artistic choice to do the first and fourth verses only, hoping that the listeners would be prompted to do a bit of research on their own.
The ship was being ably maneuvered into our viewing area by the lovely and talented Captain Kaye; Extroverted Woman* inquired if the captain planned to use a 1:4 or 1:7 anchor setting. Since there were plenty of small boats in the way, the captain asked the passengers to sit down so that she had a better view. They all complied and I began to sing. Here was the moment that I had been preparing for for days.
I started singing the Star Spangled Banner, with aid from Myron and several passengers.
The Extroverted Woman* noticed that no-one had stood up for our national anthem, so she began loudly insisting on it, while giving her fellow passengers a civics lesson about how they should have pride in their country and reminding them that valiant people had died for the privileges that made this the best country on Earth, and that we were supposed to show respect, and that it was terrible that no-one seemed to care about the responsibilities of being an American, that her dad had fought in the service, and on, and on. She also ignored that fact that the captain had requested everyone to sit so that she could safely pilot the boat. She didn't stop until I finished.
Extroverted Woman's* scree about being disrespectful to the anthem thoroughly trashed my singing of the anthem. Can you taste the Irony?
As the rest of the passengers were distracted by the very nice fireworks, I made my way aft (oh, look! I'm using sailor talking words) to have a quiet chat with Captain Kaye. I opined that if extroverted woman* had gone on much longer, I would have been tempted to hoist her overboard, then I asked how well she( captain Kaye) knew the Extroverted Woman*. The ALWAYS cheerful Jennifer gave a slight glance, full of subtle murderous intent and said," I've never seen her before in my life".
It reminded me of the joke with the punchline,"I thought he was YOUR dog."
The fireworks were fine, and no more incidents occurred with Extroverted Woman*.
Captain Kaye congratulated us all for surviving our great sea adventure. She remarked "Do you know the difference between a fairy tale and and a sailor tall tale? Fairy tales start, "Once upon a time"... and sailors stories begin, "So, there I was..."
We motored back to city dock singing "Leave Her Johnny", then made our various soggy ways home.

*I am using this word in the sense of "slightly drunk self important center of attention seeking ass."